It seems that the more my kids are able to communicate with me, the more I am feeling like their mom. In the past few weeks both boys have begun talking a lot more in full sentences and are starting to tell me stories. Sometimes they talk about what they did while I was gone, but normally they are trying to communicate some sort of joke. That, and, I don't have to prompt them to talk to me as much as a used to.
Since the meltdown of the century, Tekalegn has actually been very good and it is nice to have my sweet little boy back. We are starting to feel pretty confident that he is feeling attached to us because he seems comfortable enough to behave badly and then turn around after he has apologized and be very loving. Last night at T-ball he just walked up to Jesse and jumped into his lap and gave him a hug and kiss. Also, according to his preschool teachers he is the King of Perfectionism (like I didn't know that already). The kid is a perfectionist at everything. He is completely focused during t-ball (and the only kid that is). He spent 45 minutes drawing a picture for my father-in-law the other day. He insists on putting not only his first and last name on everything, but his middle name to. When your first name is 8 letters long, that is pretty impressive. And the odd thing is that he is good at everything he tries - sports, school, art, etc. That may be why I connect with him so well, since I too am a perfectionist (but I was never good at sports or arts).
As soon as Tekalegn started behaving again, Sammy decided it was his turn to act up. We have really had to ride him hard this week about obeying the first time. Sammy has a hard time staying focused on just about anything, including obeying. We will sit in the car and I will say "Sammy, what are you going to do when you go inside?" and he will say "Shoes off, jacket upstairs". Then we will go inside and he will be sliding down the hall (with his shoes on) or throwing toys for the dogs. I tell him to wash his hands and he will do it, but first he must make a detour. He likes to tell me know when I tell him it is time to do something. So, this week, Jesse has really been working on immediate consequences for disobeying or being disrespectful. We aren't giving him has many chances to change his behavior as we used to. On the other hand, he seems very happy and is loving playing t-ball. He too is a natural athlete (although still problems focusing). He can throw really far for his age and is very accurate, but he cannot catch because he thinks everything should come right to his glove. The other day he got mad because he and Tekalegn were playing catch in the front yard and Tekalegn was catching really well (partly because Sammy is pretty accurate and partly because Tekalegn will actually move to catch) and all the sudden he started yelling and throwing his glove because he wasn't catching any balls. We have noticed that he is actually pretty good at many things, but has such a high level of frustration that he quits. So, this is something we are trying to help him with.
The thing about becoming a parent is that it changes your social circle (as most parents I am sure would attest to). No, we don't still stay up all hours to watch movies with friends and we have stepped away from Young Life, for the time. However, because of the way in which we became parents and the age of our kids, we haven't really developed many new relationships. We live in a tiny community and many of the parents have known each other since their children were infants (or at least just starting preschool). We do talk to other parents, but our kids are still very "different". They don't talk to other kids and don't really play with other kids. We still feel very much like outsiders in this community of parents. As the kids start school next year, this may change and I am hoping it does, but we still feel like we are on the outside looking in.
No comments:
Post a Comment