New Challenges

Just when things start to settle in, it seems a new wrench is thrown in!  Sammy is really adjusting well.  He is obedient (for the most part, but not when I tell him bicycle time is finished) and enjoying the reading part of school (math, not so much).  Overall, he just seems content.  He is smiling more, less tense, and just nicer to be around.  It is nice to know that our parenting style is working for him.  Tekalegn, on the other hand, is making Jesse and I scratch our heads and throw up our hands and howl!

Part of Tekalegn's adjustment to family life is feeling more secure.  I think that when we first brought him home, he was just trying to figure it all out and please us.  Well, unfortunately, that  phase has ended and he has since reverted back to the terrible 2s with the body and mind of a 5 year old.  Example, this morning, he woke up happy and did his bathrooming and came in to get dressed.  Pants on, check.  Mommy, tie pants (even though he can tie), check.  T-shirt on, check.  Socks = screaming match with Sammy.  Tekalegn took Sammy's socks even though his were laid out.  I am unsure as to why since they were both white.  Then he refused to get dressed.  He refused to make his bed.  He refused to come downstairs for breakfast.  This all started about 8:30.  At 9:20, I cam up to give him his medicine (which was already later than normal) and he took it obligingly (since Tekalegn "no die").  We talked and he said he would make his bed and come down for breakfast.  Five minutes later he was downstairs and upon hearing breakfast was cereal (which is hit or miss with him), was promptly back up the stairs refusing to eat.  Fine with me, no breakfast for Tekalegn.  And later he was down and quite pleasant to be around.  Yesterday was the 1/4 cup of water meltdown (ie: finish your water bottle and don't lie to Mommy) that lasted 1 hour and the great prayer meltdown (which is becoming routine).  He seems to think praying is his time to be disrespectful so he gets on his most obnoxious face and does everything he can to disrupt praying time (but only with Mommy).  The other day was the meltdown over the red crayon or whatever he wants and cannot have at the time (or vice versa).  Trying to be consistent with him is just plain difficult.  No punishment seems to really work.  He has a stubborn streak a mile long and EVERYTHING we have tried either makes the situation worse (hour long screaming fits) or has no effect whatsoever.  He is truly a manipulative little monster, at times, and has the ability to make me extremely angry, frustrated, hateful, and mean!!  Jesse and I are just brainstorming as the the best way to discipline him.  Consequences don't seem to work, punishment doesn't seem to work.  Positive reinforcement does work, in the right situation.  On Thursday, he was sobbing about Sammy not giving him the red crayon (even though he had 6 other crayons and Sammy only had 3) and he just wouldn't stop sobbing.  Finally, I told him, "Tekalegn, Mommy cannot take you to help pick out Mommy's new bike when are crying like that.  So, why don't you get control of your emotions so that you can help Mommy".  That actually worked.  But, the problem is so much of his behavior is straight defiance and "NO".  "Tekalegn, bring your jacket in from the car", "NO", "Tekalegn, make your bed", "NO".  If I have to hear that one more time, I may scream!  And none of the usual punishments actually work on him when he is being defiant.  It just serves to disrupt the entire day, for the entire family.  AHHH.

So, that is the drama in the Leaf family for now!