Hope on the Horizon

It is amazing what a new week can bring. Sunday I continued in one of my grumpy moods (just ask Rachel and Jess), but I was talking to my mom and she made a few suggestions to help with the money situation and it looks like God is coming through!
Then last night we went to our second small group meeting. In the group we are studying Brennan Manning's "Abba's Child" (Naomi, I will write about this one for now instead of the oher book). I haven't really been involved in too many book discussions since college and I forgot how enlightening then can be. It is interesting to listen to people's perspectives on the same book and what different things jump off the page. For instance, one man was struck by the word "mystic", used as a good connection to Christianity. He said that most often when he heard the word he thought of the occult. One of the couples in our group just returned from Ukraine, where they were missionaries for 5 years. The said that the orthodox church there is often described as "mystic" because of the reason behind their ceremonies. All the beautiful music and artwork and presentation is supposed to represent the beauty and the mystery of God. Many of the Ukranians didn't understand why Americans were so eager go unveil all the mysteries of God. They thought American Christianity was too logical. In their services, rather than having a time for fellowship, they would have time for silence and reflection with God. I just found this interesting as most American churches are uncomfortable with silence without at least the pianist playing, but it is not unusual in European churches. That is not to say that these churches are not without fault, but rather that they do have some things we could learn from.
One of the things that Jesse brought up in this discussion is that often when we are in a time of trial (like last week) we begin to think that we must be doing something wrong or displeasing God or even that God must be tryinig to teach us something and therefore we are not living in the fullness of God. When you look at the Bible, Jesus was not without his struggles, but did that mean that He was not living in the fullness of God? I don't think so. I think we need a perspective change. Since we are saved by God's grace on the cross, wouldn't that mean that even in our struggles, we are living in the fullness of God? I know that we are not Jesus, but because of the cross, we can have the kind of relationship with God that Jesus had. Brennan's point in this chapter was to show us that God loves us not inspite of of our problems, but with all our problems because we are covered by Jesus' blood. In order to have a complete relationship with God, we have to be able to see ourselves as God sees us.
The other idea that came to me is that while we are in the middle of a crisis, we begin to ask ourselves "what have I done wrong" or "what is God trying to teach me" (at least I do). But these questions are still very self centered. A quote from the book that really struck me was "in Love's service, only the wounded can serve". This was really a revelation to me. What if the trials I have experienced have nothing to do with what I needed to learn, but everything to do with how that can become a tool for me to empathize and therefore minister Jesus' love with people that have had a similar experience. I think of some of the things I have gone trhough and since we started to work with teenagers, those have become an experience that I can share with the kids to show that God can work through an imperfect human. It is just amazing how God really does use thos things that we think were met to harm us and uses it for His glory. Okay, I think I have been on my soapbox too long!